Sonntag, 18. Januar 2009

You’ve been too long in Lithuania, when …

Hey ho,

hier mal was lustiges (manchmal ist da auch was wahres dran ;) ):

You’ve been too long in Lithuania, when …
(Du warst zu lange in Litauen, wenn ...) only eat in restaurant-chains, which start with Čili put ketchup on your pizza and think that’s the way Italians do it

....half of your friends disappear to work in the British Isles or Scandinavia or the United States and you think that’s normal have become tired of explaining to your friends and relatives at home, that you are a.) not in Latvia b.) not in Russia and c.) Riga isn’t the capital of the Baltic

....with a meal you drink either beer or tea has become the most important thing in your life

....there is only one beer for you: Švyturys Extra

....half of the population working as “managers” seems reasonable to you

....tall blonde beauties in short skirts are nothing special for you anymore

....during winter, instead of looking for a thermostat to adjust the temperature in your room, you just open the window learned everything about the glorious Lithuanian language, and now you get angry about ignorant people denying the existence of a Lithuanian language or, worse, consider it some branch of Slavic languages’ve learned the hard way that a triangle means women’s toilet and a triangle upside down means men’s

....during a long night of partying you went out pissing in the cold streets because there was only one unisex toilet in the whole pub think drunkards shouting at you in Russian are a normal part of life

....when you enter a bus and there is no strange smell you think there’s something wrong

....buses without antennae seem awkward to you

....anything goes wrong you blame the Russians, or the Polish or the rest of the world think hot chocolate means melted chocolate and you love it see someone smiling in public, you think: well, a bloody foreigner

....a meal for you must contain either potato or meat, but usually both start leaving out the articles, even in English and your native language become scared meeting big old babushkas in furs, because they trample down everything in their way are afraid crossing a street, especially at zebra crossings or traffic lights feel guilty entering a flat wearing your shoes consider cranberry the best flavour for water, juice and vodka think beer is a soft drink not an alcoholic beverage, only vodka is

....going to the opera, the concert hall or the theatre is just a usual thing to do in the evenings

....forenames like Christmas’ tree, mermaid, amber or wind seem normal to you

....everything 50m above sea-level seems like a mountain start counting the ground floor as first floor

....someone, you haven’t known for more than three years, talks to you, you try to get rid of him as soon as possible got a one centimetre haircut, bought a fake leather jacket and a black cap (if you are male) OR: you bought a skirt at the size of a belt and don’t leave the house without tons of make-up (if you are female) consider smoked pig’s ears a tasty beer snack love the Baltic Sea and go swimming there at nearly any temperature love going to the Sauna, but always leave your trunks/bikini on

....for you, garlic has become an ingredient just like salt or pepper consider Lithuania the best and worst place on earth – at the same time teach everybody that in medieval times the Lithuanian Duchy ranged from the Baltic to the Black Sea put an “as”, “a” or “is” at the end of foreign names, so you can conjugate them carry around five cell phones and several cards from eight different phone-companies, so that you always get the best price.

....You consider fastening your seatbelt a sign of weakness and are not surprised if a car hasn’t seatbelts at all.

....In your eyes Coca Cola is the unhealthiest drink in the world and that drinking lots of beer, sugary juice and bread drink prolongs your life haven't seen a bright sky for months and you don't miss it anymore consider rain the normality and sunshine a special weather phenomenon

....your lock is broken and you have to wait till monday that somebody is repairing it (today is saturday) - Burns personal experience!!

(kopiert vom Blog:

1 Kommentar:

  1. Ich bin froh das ich eine fremde Sprache recht gut kann! Und das ist Deutsch! Das da oben zu übersetzten habe ich keine lust,...
    ,..., du kennst mich!, bin faul!